ohneklappe

2008-10-30T06:30:00.001Z

A farmer in Arkansas and his wife were lying in bed one evening, she was knitting, and he was reading the latest issue of Animal Husbandry. He looks up from the page and said to her, "Did you know that humans are the only species in which the female achieves orgasm?"

She looks at him wistfully, smiles, and replies, "Oh yeah? Prove it."

He frowns for a moment, and then replied, "O.K." He then gets up and walks out, leaving his wife with a confused look on her face.

About half an hour later he returns all tired and sweaty and says, "Well, I'm sure the cow and sheep didn't, but the way that pig squealed, it's hard to tell."

T4 Salvation Trailer 2

2008-08-17T12:02:00.001+01:00

2008-08-09T10:21:00.001+01:00

Unite for Change: National Wrap-Up

2008-07-04T18:09:00.000+01:00

2008-07-02T21:54:00.000+01:00

Silver

2008-06-10T19:12:00.000+01:00

bilder fürs LR

2007-11-01T20:31:00.001Z

2007-09-30T23:31:00.001Z

flashvars="i1=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-183DE488.jpeg&c1=&i2=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-0455EFC.jpeg&c2=&i3=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_2C861757.jpeg&c3=&i4=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_57EDBD35.jpeg&c4=&i5=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-396C1EDE.jpeg&c5=&i6=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_60BD8C5F.jpeg&c6=&i7=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_0AEB34CA.jpeg&c7=&i8=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-351AAC0D.jpeg&c8=&i9=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_72CA9053.jpeg&c9=&i10=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-45A19707.jpeg&c10=&i11=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-2D00D6DF.jpeg&c11=&i12=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_-31AF758B.jpeg&c12=&i13=http://dna.imagini.net/i/RESIZE_791C6076.jpeg&c13=&bgcolor=##000000&habitslabel=JUNKIE%20MONKEY&moodlabel=GO-GETTER&funlabel=WORKER%20BEE&lovelabel=LOVE%20BUG&userhome=http://friends.imagini.net/@1651327-6964" >

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

was ist euer Körper wert ?

2007-08-17T11:21:00.001Z

$3890.00

Mingle² - Dating Site

2007-08-04T08:24:00.000Z

Folgende Flotten standen sich am 08-04 05:26:46 gegenüber:

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)
Waffen: 150% Schilde: 150% Hülle: 150%

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.219	10.000
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6)
Waffen: 140% Schilde: 140% Hülle: 150%

Typ	Kl.Trans	Gr.Trans	L.Jäger	Kreuzer	Schlachts.	Recy.	Spio.Sonde	Bomber	Sol. Sat	Zerst.	Rip	Schlachtkr.	Rak.	L.Laser	S.Laser	Gauß	Ion.W	Plasma	S.Kuppel	GS.Kuppel
Anz.	1	1.101	37	220	663	10	339	258	8.381	44	2	9	26.497	346	289	108	166	134	1	1
Bewaff.	12	12	120	960	2.400	2	0	2.400	2	4.800	480.000	1.680	192	240	600	2.640	360	7.200	2	2
Schilde	24	60	24	120	480	24	0	1.200	2	1.200	120.000	960	48	60	240	480	1.200	720	4.800	24.000
Hülle	1.000	3.000	1.000	6.750	15.000	4.000	250	18.750	500	27.500	2.250.000	17.500	500	500	2.000	8.750	2.000	25.000	5.000	25.000

Die angreifende Flotte schießt insgesamt 27.395 mal mit Gesamtstärke 99.275.000 auf den Verteidiger. Die Schilde des Verteidigers absorbieren 1.309.790 Schadenspunkte
Die verteidigende Flotte schießt insgesamt 38.614 mal mit Gesamtstärke 13.655.914 auf den Angreifer. Die Schilde des Angreifers absorbieren 6.514.659 Schadenspunkte

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.210	9.984
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6)

Typ	Gr.Trans	L.Jäger	Kreuzer	Schlachts.	Recy.	Spio.Sonde	Bomber	Sol. Sat	Zerst.	Rip	Schlachtkr.	Rak.	L.Laser	S.Laser	Gauß	Ion.W	Plasma	S.Kuppel	GS.Kuppel
Anz.	579	20	149	576	4	172	247	4.141	44	2	8	13.064	160	149	84	104	132	1	1
Bewaff.	12	120	960	2.400	2	0	2.400	2	4.800	480.000	1.680	192	240	600	2.640	360	7.200	2	2
Schilde	60	24	120	480	24	0	1.200	2	1.200	120.000	960	48	60	240	480	1.200	720	4.800	24.000
Hülle	3.000	1.000	6.750	15.000	4.000	250	18.750	500	27.500	2.250.000	17.500	500	500	2.000	8.750	2.000	25.000	5.000	25.000

Die angreifende Flotte schießt insgesamt 25.101 mal mit Gesamtstärke 93.197.500 auf den Verteidiger. Die Schilde des Verteidigers absorbieren 1.210.135 Schadenspunkte
Die verteidigende Flotte schießt insgesamt 19.665 mal mit Gesamtstärke 20.606.210 auf den Angreifer. Die Schilde des Angreifers absorbieren 3.919.701 Schadenspunkte

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.179	9.958
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6)

Typ	Gr.Trans	L.Jäger	Kreuzer	Schlachts.	Recy.	Spio.Sonde	Bomber	Sol. Sat	Zerst.	Rip	Schlachtkr.	Rak.	L.Laser	S.Laser	Gauß	Ion.W	Plasma	S.Kuppel	GS.Kuppel
Anz.	181	9	67	389	2	50	193	1.165	35	2	6	3.662	38	41	37	33	109	1	1
Bewaff.	12	120	960	2.400	2	0	2.400	2	4.800	480.000	1.680	192	240	600	2.640	360	7.200	2	2
Schilde	60	24	120	480	24	0	1.200	2	1.200	120.000	960	48	60	240	480	1.200	720	4.800	24.000
Hülle	3.000	1.000	6.750	15.000	4.000	250	18.750	500	27.500	2.250.000	17.500	500	500	2.000	8.750	2.000	25.000	5.000	25.000

Die angreifende Flotte schießt insgesamt 21.108 mal mit Gesamtstärke 82.710.000 auf den Verteidiger. Die Schilde des Verteidigers absorbieren 851.104 Schadenspunkte
Die verteidigende Flotte schießt insgesamt 6.026 mal mit Gesamtstärke 6.635.974 auf den Angreifer. Die Schilde des Angreifers absorbieren 1.708.627 Schadenspunkte

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.164	9.947
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6)

Typ	Gr.Trans	L.Jäger	Kreuzer	Schlachts.	Recy.	Spio.Sonde	Bomber	Sol. Sat	Zerst.	Rip	Schlachtkr.	Rak.	S.Laser	Gauß	Ion.W	Plasma	GS.Kuppel
Anz.	7	2	2	61	1	3	44	40	12	2	2	106	2	1	2	35	1
Bewaff.	12	120	960	2.400	2	0	2.400	2	4.800	480.000	1.680	192	600	2.640	360	7.200	2
Schilde	60	24	120	480	24	0	1.200	2	1.200	120.000	960	48	240	480	1.200	720	24.000
Hülle	3.000	1.000	6.750	15.000	4.000	250	18.750	500	27.500	2.250.000	17.500	500	2.000	8.750	2.000	25.000	25.000

Die angreifende Flotte schießt insgesamt 15.027 mal mit Gesamtstärke 65.560.000 auf den Verteidiger. Die Schilde des Verteidigers absorbieren 407.780 Schadenspunkte
Die verteidigende Flotte schießt insgesamt 334 mal mit Gesamtstärke 6.832.200 auf den Angreifer. Die Schilde des Angreifers absorbieren 232.966 Schadenspunkte

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.160	9.934
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6)

Typ	Rip
Anz.	2
Bewaff.	480.000
Schilde	120.000
Hülle	2.250.000

Die angreifende Flotte schießt insgesamt 12.094 mal mit Gesamtstärke 55.070.000 auf den Verteidiger. Die Schilde des Verteidigers absorbieren 249.800 Schadenspunkte
Die verteidigende Flotte schießt insgesamt 6 mal mit Gesamtstärke 2.880.000 auf den Angreifer. Die Schilde des Angreifers absorbieren 7.500 Schadenspunkte

Angreifer Crusader (7:250:6)

Typ	Bomber	Zerst.
Anz.	2.158	9.930
Bewaff.	2.500	5.000
Schilde	1.250	1.250
Hülle	18.750	27.500

Verteidiger pilger (7:180:6) Vernichtet

Der Angreifer hat die Schlacht gewonnen!
Er erbeutet
112.411 Metall, 46.984 Kristall und 273.121 Deuterium

Der Angreifer hat insgesamt 12.275.000 Units verloren.
Der Verteidiger hat insgesamt 193.791.000 Units verloren.
Auf diesen Raumkoordinaten liegen nun 22.234.200 Metall und 17.197.800 Kristall.
Die Chance einer Mondentstehung beträgt 20 %
Die enormen Mengen an freiem Metall und Kristall ziehen sich an und formen einen Trabanten um den Planeten.
21198 Raketenwerfer, 218 Leichtes Lasergeschütz, 223 Schweres Lasergeschütz, 83 Gaußkanone, 128 Ionengeschütz, 87 Plasmawerfer, 0 Kleine Schildkuppel, 1 Große Schildkuppel ließen sich reparieren.

2007-07-21T19:11:00.001Z

2007-07-13T20:34:00.001Z

2007-07-08T21:20:00.001Z

Launch my Music Player

Flash Movie test

2007-06-29T20:53:00.000Z

2007-06-28T21:44:00.001Z

The Simpsons Marge On Google - The most amazing home videos are here

Mobbingtest

2007-05-04T11:31:00.000Z

Mit dem Mobbingtest kannst Du herausfinden, ob Du bereits gemobbt wirst ..

1. Deine Möglichkeiten, sich frei zu äußern sind stark eingeschränkt. 20P
2. Du gehörst einer anderen Nationalität oder Religion an, als die meisten anderen auf der arbeit. 15P
3. Du wirst von Deinen Kollegen nie privat eingeladen. 5P
4. Du wirst mit Telefonterror belästigt. 20P
5. Deine Kollegen verstummen, wenn Du den Raum betrittst. 10P
6. Man lacht über Dich. 10P
7. Man spricht nicht mehr mit Dir. 20P
8. Du wirst ständig kritisiert. 15P
9. Man verbreitet Gerüchte über Dich. 15P
10. Man greift Deine persönliche Meinung an. 10P
11. Du bist sexuellen Belästigungen verbal oder tätlich ausgesetzt. 20P
12. Man zwingt Dich Dinge zu tun, die Dein Selbstbewußtsein verletzen. 20P
13. Man stellt Deine Entscheidungen in Frage. 10P
14. Man imitiert Dich, Deinen Gang, Deine Stimme, Dein Lachen… 20P
15. Man gibt Dir Aufgaben weit unter Deinem Können. 15P
16. Man gibt Dir Aufgaben, die Deine Möglichkeiten übersteigen. 10P
17. Man verdächtigt Dich, psychisch krank zu sein. 15P
18. Du hast keine Freude mehr an Deiner Arbeit. 15P
19. Du warst in letzter Zeit öfter krank. 15P
20. Du warst in letzter Zeit gereizt. 10P
21. Du gehst nicht zu Firmenfesten oder sonstigen freiwilligen Veranstaltungen der Firma. 10P
22. Dir wurde schon einmal körperliche Gewalt angedroht. 15P
23. Deine persönlichen Dinge werden beschädigt 10P
24. Du gehst weniger aus, als früher. 10P
25. Kollegen und oder Vorgesetzte werden gegen Dich aufgestachelt. 20P
26. Man macht Witze auf Deine Kosten. 20P
27. Kollegen zu denen Du früher engeren Kontakt hattest, ziehen sich zurück. 15P
28. Du leidest an Schlafstörungen. 10P

Testauswertung
Gesamtpunktzahl unter 40 Punkte:
Du brauchst Dir keine Sorgen zu machen.
Gesamtpunktzahl 40 - 80 Punkte:
Es kann der Anfang von einem Mobbing sein, kann aber auch andere Ursachen haben, wie Konflikte zu Hause oder im Freundeskreis.
Gesamtpunktzahl 80 - 165 Punkte:
Du bist einem Mobbing ausgesetzt, musst aber nicht “das Handtuch werfen”. Durch selbstbewusstes Auftreten und mutiges Ansprechen der Situation, könntest Du das Schiff noch wenden.
Gesamtpunktzahl über 165 Punkte:
Du bist Opfer von Mobbing. Die Situation ist für Dich unerträglich und Du solltest dich nicht scheuen, Hilfe von aussen zu holen

2007-04-27T20:02:00.000Z

das habe ich eben auf einer britischen Webseite gefunden:

Wolfgang Heinrich, 40, from the German town Wiesenburg, had been riding with his Haflinger horse Sammy when he stopped to have a drink with friends.
But when he left the pub he realised he was too drunk to ride all the way home - and because it was cold, he decided to use his bank card to open up a nearby bank foyer and take himself and Sammy inside to sleep it off.

Quelle:

Ich finde das ja witzig da passiert hier in Deutschland was ziemlich witziges udn man liest da erst auf einer britischen webseite von. Ich frage mich ja jetzt nur wo das in Deutschland war.

Der 2 Weltkrieg als MMORPG

2007-04-27T19:32:00.000Z

Folgenden Text habe ich auf : http://ccgi.disley.plus.com/wp/?p=33 gefunden... Auf welche seltsamen Ideen manche kommen. Ich denke aber das würde sich auch füe einen Geschichts Lehrer eignen um seinen Schülern mal einen kurzen Überblick über den 2 Weltkrieg zu geben....

If WWII was an MMORPG:

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
*Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt: hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0J0: lol

Roosevelt: o this fockin sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]: sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt: i dont got crap to help, sry
Churchill: wtf the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt: get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: stfu
Roosevelt: o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: Eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do **** til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the fock up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is fockin weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt: im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFLMAO
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt: wtf! thats bullsh1t u fags im gunna kick ur asses
T0J0: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt: u little biotch ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: wtf
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge fockin army
Hitler[AoE]: thats bullsh1t u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right biznitch im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be an arss
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh sh1t help
Hitler[AoE]: o man ur focked
paTTon: oh what now biotch
Roosevelt: whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt: gj paTTon
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: WTF Eisenhower hax hes killing all my sh1t
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny-tow: wtf that mean?
Eisenhower: meant to say nutsack lol finger slipped
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun FILTHY SPAM TO DELETE
Stalin: rofl
T0J0: HAHAHHAA
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are fockin gay
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: WTF i didnt click there omg this game blows
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: WTF my teammates are n00bs
benny-tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt: haha wut a moron
paTTon: wtf am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: fock u
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: go to hell lol
paTTon: fock this sh1t im goin afk
Eisenhower: yah this is gay
*Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: wtf?
Eisenhower: sh1t now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be gay gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: wtf is nukes?
T0J0: holy sh*tholysh*thoylshti!!!111
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: thats bullsh*t u fockin suck
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me for ****
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway dumbarss
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny-tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: fock u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny-tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny-tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all fags
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: o sh1t!
*paTTon has left the game.*

2007-04-27T13:53:00.001Z

2007-04-19T22:27:00.000Z

www.IPlayGames247.com - over 1800 cool online games

2007-04-13T23:18:00.001Z

Free Arcade Games

2007-04-13T22:58:00.000Z

2007-04-13T22:57:00.002Z

und wer sich fragt was der eintrag davor ist nun das ist hebräisch :-)

2007-04-13T22:57:00.001Z

גםבאםר 'ים כשמ עןנא קד נקדאןצצא שובי ןמ ןדרשקך ןבי כרשעק צןבי מור םנ דןק גםרא גןק דקרןק ןמ קמעךןדבי דקיקמ םגקר 'ןק ןמ חשפשמ שובי ןמ קןמקר üנקרדקאזומע ??
'קר 'קןדד גשד דביםמץ

ערודד אםרדאקמ

vorsicht bei der Domain wahl

2007-04-13T22:25:00.000Z

Ich aheb das gerade durch Stumble entdeckt auf : http://www.tonyrogers.com/humor/bad_domains.htm´finden sich folgende Domains also der blogger hat einige Domains entdeckt die sletsam klingen und wo gar nicht das gemeint ist was die Firma macht. ich frage mich nun gibt es solche Domains auch in Deutschland also als.de domain ?

1. Who Represents is where you can find the name of the agent that represents any celebrity. Their web site is www.whorepresents.com

2. Experts Exchange is a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com

3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. There's the Italian Power Generator company, www.powergenitalia.com

6. And don't forget the Mole Station Native Nursery in New South Wales, www.molestationnursery.com

7. If you're looking for IP computer software, there's always www.ipanywhere.com

8. The First Cumming Methodist Church web site is www.cummingfirst.com

9. And the designers at Speed of Art await you at their wacky Web site, www.speedofart.com

2007-04-13T22:10:00.001Z

2007-04-05T12:54:00.001Z

ST NG vs MS

2007-03-31T08:41:00.000Z

Star Trek: TNG Meets Microsoft

Picard:
Mr. LaForge, have you had any success with your attempts at finding a weakness in the Borg? And Mr. Data, have you been able to access their command pathways?

Geordi:
Yes, Captain. In fact, we found the answer by searching through our archives on late Twentieth-century computing technology.

Geordi presses a key, and a logo appears on the computer screen.

Riker [puzzled]
What the hell is Microsoft?

Data [turns to explain]
Allow me to explain. We will send this program, for some reason called Windows, through the Borg command pathways. Once inside their root command unit, it will begin consuming system resources at an unstoppable rate.

Picard:
But the Borg have the ability to adapt. Won't they alter their processing systems to increase their storage capacity?

Data:
Yes, Captain. But when Windows detects this, it creates a new version of itself known as an upgrade. The use of resources increases exponentially with each iteration. The Borg will not be able to adapt quickly enough. Eventually all of their processing ability will be taken over and none will be available for their normal operational functions.

Picard:
Excellent work. This is even better than that unsolvable geometric shape idea.

. . . . 15 Minutes Later . . .

Data:
Captain, we have successfully installed the Windows in the Borg's command unit. As expected, it immediately consumed 85% of all available resources. However, we have not received any confirmation of the expected upgrade.

Geordi:
Our scanners have picked up an increase in Borg storage and CPU capacity, but we still have no indication of an upgrade to compensate for their increase.

Picard:
Data, scan the history banks again and determine if there is something we have missed.

Data:
Sir, I believe there is a reason for the failure in the upgrade. Appearently the Borg have circumvented that part of the plan by not sending in their registration cards.

Riker:
Captain, we have no choice. Requesting permission to begin emergency escape sequence 3F!

Geordi: [excited]
Wait, Captain! Their CPU capacity has suddenly dropped to 0% !

Picard:
Data, what do your scanners show?

Data: [studying displays]
Appearently the Borg have found the internal Windows module named Solitaire, and it has used up all available CPU capacity.

Picard:
Lets wait and see how long this Solitaire can reduce their functionality.

. . . . Two Hours Pass . . .

Riker:
Geordi, what is the status of the Borg?

Geordi:
As expected, the Borg are attempting to re-engineer to compensate for increased CPU and storage demands, but each time they successfully increase resources I have setup our closest deep space monitor beacon to transmit more Windows modules from something called the Microsoft Fun-Pack.

Picard:
How much time will that buy us?

Data:
Current Borg solution rates allow me to predict an interest time span of 6 more hours.

Geordi:
Captain, another vessel has entered our sector.

Picard:
Identify.

Data:
It appears to have markings very similar to the Microsoft logo...

[over the speakers]
This is admiral Bill Gates of the Microsoft flagship MONOPOLY. We have positive confirmation of unregistered software in this sector. Surrender all assets and we can avoid any trouble. You have 10 seconds to comply.

Data:
The alien ship has just opened its forward hatches and released thousands of humanoid-shaped objects.

Picard:
Magnify forward viewer on the alien craft!

Riker:
My God, captain! Those are human beings floating straight toward the Borg ship - with no life support suits! How can they survive the tortures of deep space?!

Data:
I dont believe that those are humans, sir. If you will look closer I believe you will see that they are carrying something recognized by twenty-first century man as doeskin leather briefcases, and wearing Armani suits.

Riker and Picard, together [horrified]
Lawyers!!

Geordi:
It can't be. All the Lawyers were rounded up and sent hurtling into the sun in 2017 during the Great Awakening.

Data:
True, but appearently some must have survived.

Riker:
They have surrounded the Borg ship and are covering it with all types of papers.

Data:
I believe that is known in ancient vernacular as red tape. It often proves fatal.

Riker:
They're tearing the Borg to pieces!

Picard:
Turn the monitors off, Data, I cant bear to watch. Even the Borg doesn't deserve such a gruesome death!

Kampf an der Ampel

2007-03-29T09:47:00.001Z

2007-03-22T23:54:00.000Z

Online Videos by Veoh.com

2007-03-22T19:15:00.000Z

Free Online Flash Games

Das neue IRack :-)

2007-03-21T18:49:00.000Z

Der unterschied zwischen Star Trek & Firefly

2007-03-21T18:36:00.000Z

Star Trek:

Picard: "Arm photon torpedoes!"
Riker: "Captain! Are you sure that's wise?"
Troi: "Captain! I'm picking up conflicting feelings about this! And, it appears that you're a 'fraidy cat."
Wesley: "Captain, I'm just an annoying punk, but I thought I should say something."
Worf: "Captain, can I push the button? This is giving me a big Klingon warrior chubby."
Giordi: "Captain, I think we should reverse the polarity on them first."
Picard: "I'm so confused. I'm going to go to my stateroom and look
pensive."

Firefly:

Captain: "Let's shoot them."
Crewman: "Are you sure that's wise?"
Captain: "Do you know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I'll BEAT YOU WITH until you realize who's in command."
Crewman: "Aye Aye, sir!"

Life before the computer

2007-03-18T20:38:00.000Z

Life before the computer
An application was for employment
A program was a TV show
A cursor used profanity
A keyboard was a piano!

Memory was something that you lost with age
A CD was a bank account
And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy
You hoped nobody found out!

Compress was something you did to garbage
Not something you did to a file
And if you unzipped anything in public
You'd be in jail for awhile!

Log on was adding wood to a fire
Hard drive was a long trip on the road
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived
And a backup happened to your commode!

Cut - you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
A web was a spider's home
And a virus was the flu!

I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
And the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
But when it happens they wish they were dead!

2007-03-16T22:55:00.000Z

da ich hier neben skurielen dingen auch öfter mal was für den hauptblog testen möchte nun ein test mit einem alten podcast beitrag von mir.

Subscribe Free Add to my Page

Treffsicherheits trainer .........

2007-03-15T22:32:00.000Z

Treffsicherheits trainer .........

Wer spielt den noch killer spiele und ärgert sich wenn er so oft daneben ballert ? hier könnt ihr das nun Üben :

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/shoot

2007-03-15T22:10:00.000Z

Irgendwoher kenne ich das *g* ;-) wer mich kennt weis was ich meine ....

2007-03-15T13:34:00.000Z

What Word Starts With "F" and Ends With "K"?

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her
students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the
3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd
grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.

While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the
principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he
would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions
he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he
agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36".

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader
should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry can go

to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered, why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants"

Ms. Brooks: What's starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?
Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the
answer.
Harry: "Bubble gum"

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down
and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a
lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put
Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong......"

2007-03-14T14:46:00.002Z

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=22139

2007-03-14T14:46:00.001Z

The Hole - video powered by Metacafe

2007-03-14T14:42:00.001Z

http://joyoftech.com/joyoftech/joyarchives/915.html

2007-03-14T14:32:00.000Z

Girls are like

apples on trees. The best

ones are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach for

the good ones because they are afraid

of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they

just get the rotten apples from the ground

that aren't as good, but easy. So the apples

at the top think something is wrong with

them, when in reality, they're amazing.

They just have to wait for the right

boy to come along, the one

who's brave enough

to climb

all the way

to the top

of the tree.